Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Don't Be That House - A List of the Worst Halloween Candy Ever

If your usual Halloween candy purchase includes *any* of the following treats crimesagainsthumanity, STOP IT.  Shut.  It. Down.  This Public Service Announcement is for you.  
Listen.  
I get it.  
  
Not everyone has a friend who will speak the truth to them.  I choose to believe that no one ever told you about your vomit-inducing, candy-giving habits.  Just like no one ever told you that flip-flops and/or facial piercings are inappropriate for an interview.  Or that you’re not supposed to gift those Snuggies you excitedly hoarded from HSN/QVC/CVS.  <-- No one wants those.  Likewise, no kid wants to find any of these candies in their treat bag, on Halloween: 

How to Lose at Halloween: A List of the Worst Candy Ever - #Most #Disgusting #Top #Gross #Grossest #Nasty #Nastiest #All #Time #List #Candies #Black #Licorice #Lame #Lamest #Circus #Peanuts #Peanut #Gummy #Hamburger #Hamburgers #Whoppers #Spearmint #Spearmints


For starters, we’ll begin with the orange Circus Peanuts.  What blows my mind is that somewhere, someone tried one once and thought “These are DELICIOUS! Let’s mass produce them!”  At times, I’ve wondered if actual packing peanuts have more flavor than these vile, flavored bits of foam. 

Black Licorice?! Are you for real, giving out these tar bites?   They smell like rotten, root beer farts and dead squirrels. Why would anyone want to put one near their mouth?

I’d never met a chocolate that made my lips curl into a frown, until I tried Whoppers.  Chocolate covered chalk nuggets?  N’Okay!

Spearmint candies – Wha? Why?  Is this anyone’s favorite?  Please let me know, because I will ship you all of the ones we receive in our annual Halloween haul.  I enjoy the smell of halitosis more than this mint.  

Gummy bears?  I can do those.  They’re delicious and adorable.  Gummy HAMBURGERS?  No.  Uh-Uh.  Who seriously looks forward to finding one of these in their bag?  Can you picture a child out there, savoring every layer, piece-by-piece?  Not me… but typing that out and imagining it just made my mouth fill with pre-vomit saliva. 


Mike & Ike/Good & Plenty – Good news.  No one will e-v-e-r steal your stash... unless they mistake your G&Ps for actual pills.
Random orange & black candy... is this supposed to be generic peanut butter? caramel? taffy?  While we're here, any off-brand/no-name candy <-- Don't do it.  There's too much good candy out there for a kid to take a chance on that ambiguous blob you tossed in their bag.  Not to mention, these particular candies are easily opened/reopened {AKA thrown out by cautious parents}.

People, I’m begging you.  Halloween is once a year.  Splurge on the name brand chocolate or at the very least Sour Patch Kids.  Don’t be that house.


What's your most hated candy?  

 
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25 comments:

  1. Great post! My granddaughter's very first Trick or Treat house ever...the elderly lady came to the door ~ handed her candy. Hannah looked at it and handed it back to the lady and said in her sweet little 4 year old voice ~ "I don't really like this kind, so you can just keep it." Her mother was petrified...I thought it was hilarious!!!

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    1. Renee, picturing that little girl made me almost fall out of my chair. HAHAHAHA!

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  2. We handed out iced juice boxes last year at it was a HUGE hit! I really wish it was still okay to give out homemade stuff. My across the street neighbors when I was small always made popcorn balls and I remember looking forward to them ALL YEAR.

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    1. I've never had a popcorn ball, but I've always wondered what they were like. Come to think of it, juice boxes sound like an excellent idea! Those kids {in the South} are all sweaty, from running house to house... they need to rehydrate :) I bet you could make homemade treats for the neighbors you DO know and give those out along with the regular candy.

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    2. Juice boxes are a great idea!!!

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  3. No-brand candy is never good. Whoppers are completely gross (although, for some reason, my husband loves them). Those gummy burgers are ridiculous and awful.

    It is good you shared this list. Hopefully some of the candy offenders will see it, and reform their bad candy-giving ways.

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    1. My husband likes those Whoppers too! I don't know why...

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  4. I've never even seen gummy burgers...nasty! Though my daughter loves gummy anything and thinks her vitamins are a HUGE treat. Personally, I hate Jolly Ranchers. I could go the rest of my life without seeing another one and be perfectly happy.

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    1. Leslie, be thankful you haven't seen them pop up in your Halloween hauls. I need to go to YOUR neighborhood!

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  5. LOL...Congrats! You just won my first laugh of the day... Too funny! I am going to try my best not to be guilty of giving out ANY of the hated and dreaded candies this Halloween. Thank you for the heads up!

    Happy SITSSharefest :D

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  6. This post is such a fun read! Thank you for the giggles I had while reading it.

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    1. Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for stopping by :)

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  7. Those generic peanut butter cups - yuck!

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    1. Unless it's those gold coins {kinda fun for kids}, leave that no-name chocolate on the shelf, where it belongs!

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  8. Spearmint candies aren't good for Halloween. After dinner mints yes. Halloween no.

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    1. I love Peppermint & Wintermint, but not spearmint :( Thanks for visiting!

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  9. I agree with you on the above with the exception of Whoppers. I don't think they are too bad.

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    1. I don't think the general public dislikes those, but I did enough to include them :) My husband, who doesn't really care for chocolate, loves Whoppers. Thank you for visiting!

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  10. HA! I just bought my candy today and thank goodness it's not the BAD candy! Dodged a bullet there! Thanks for the PSA!

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    1. Phew! Thank goodness. I'll save some Gummy Hamburgers for you, if you'd like ;)

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  11. I wholeheartedly agree on all points but the gummy burgers. I love these things and genuinely do eat them layer by layer! Admittedly, I am the person people give them to as no one else likes them. I don't understand why!

    Kate | Diaries of a Essex Girl

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    1. KATE!!!! No!!!!! I'm curious, cause I can't bring myself to try them - are the individual layers their own flavor? Thanks for stopping by :)

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    2. LOL! No, they are not really a flavor. They are just juicy and gummy. I like them. They started off as "Krabby Patties" from spongebob, which made them popular.

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  12. Those gummy burgers are disgusting! They're all weird and cloudy and have that you-shouldn't-eat-this is-this-really-food aura about them. Same goes for the gummy eyeballs.

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